And the Pendulum Hits Full Swing

Today has been a magically delicious Sunday, drinking chai, relaxing with friends, catching up and cooking Sunday brunch. I can feel my body start to unwind, soaking up the benefits of a simple environment.

It has been another lovely return to my adopted hometown. And for the first time since I left nearly three months ago, I feel like I can stop running and start breathing. My body is in knots, but I can feel that it will not last long.

I am considering whether to join a meditation retreat for the next ten days, as a way to break back into my world of meditation and quiet living. I spent much of my time in the west drinking and socializing, and now it's time for the pendulum to swing back to the other side.

Of course it is not ideal live on a pendulum. I have everything, but I see now that the only way I can ever achieve real freedom is through self-discipline. In one way I am back to square one: Meditation is once again the sole priority. But in another way I have made progress by reaffirming the priorities through personal experience. I see my path as a series of circles - or cycles - that climbs slowly higher. Each time I return to the same conclusions but always with a new, enriched perspective.

I believe it is too early for me to properly articulate anything. So I'll just say that I'm back and what an immense relief it is...!

hari om!

LMA

Homeward Bound

Spent a lovely Thanksgiving making the rounds in a few of my favorite airports. Now I'm back in Delhi in the endlessly manic Pahar Ganj marketplace.

Turns out my timing has been quite off this week, a week that will go down as one of the more difficult ones in recent memory. Aside from the miracle of getting to the airport in Frankfurt - a story worthy of a short novel - I'm now having a hell of a time trying to get a train to Rishikesh. Apparently, it seems to be some kind of holiday. Ha haa hah hah!

For some reason, my return to the Homeland has not been marked with the same giddy elation I normally experience upon arrival. Confronted with my first eastern-style toilet in Bahrain, I only sighed in resignation.

But I am enjoying the Indians' very special mentality and it turns out they are fascinated by my hair. They call out in the streets saying it is beautiful, asking me if it's real and wanting to touch it. Just what I needed, another reason for the Indians to want to touch me!

I'm now looking forward to getting settled back into my own room at the ashram again. The last three months of gypsy wandering has left me stiff, sore and drained.

love and hugs and Hari Om Namah Shivaya,
LMA

Back in Deutschland but Still Singing in French*

I can't keep up with myself anymore. This is just too much. And I'm in the mood for asterisks.**

I arrived Monday morning in a state of delirium. Tuesday morning I woke up and realized where I was. Then, at 4:20 this morning I was up and ready for action like a rabbit on meth. I ate Italian biscuits and surfed the internets in search of friends to chat with, but apparently everyone was busy doing something else, so I cursed them under my breath and fell to searching for gainful employment instead. Which I found in Yemen.

Of course, Yemen is not on the program. Actually, gainful employment is not on the program. But the program is always evolving and my bank account is looking anemic.

Montreal was a non-stop wheel of fun***, and now that I've jumped off the wheel, it's time to re-group and get ready for the coming year, 'cause I've got an ambitious one planned! In order to properly execute my grande plans, I will need a month or two parked in front of a computer screen somewhere with good internet access.

I'm finally going back to the Motherland (India), but I don't plan to stay long. Two months should suffice. I just need some time to get back into my yoga/meditation routine, get my yoga teaching certificate, witness the mayhem of Kumbha Mela and, finally, redistribute my possessions and say namaste..

I'm thinking of starting my next round of adventures in Istanbul, but all my plans could be suddenly derailed by a decent offer of employment. So let's all have a moment of silence while we hope that doesn't happen..

For the present moment anyway, I've got a mind to pack a bag and hitch hike to Strasbourg where my friend Katya is organizing some concerts. It's only a few hours away and you know how I feel about opportunities like this one...you only live once, and I haven't seen her in years.

So everybody get ready!

It's almost 11am now, which means I can start ringing the west coast in just another hour or so. It's time to catch up with The Mama.

It feels good to be back on the radar!

Big sloppy kussen for all,
LMA

* Les Blues du Businessman, par Claude Dubois

** asterisks are a disappointingly underused yet remarkably utilitarian grammatical device augmenting the readability of documents such as this one

*** in the abstract, facitious sense of the word

Unidentified, drunken Russians. Montreal 2009.

Something Big is Brewing

...

Rarely do I sleep the night before a flight. It's 3am now and I have relinquished any illusion that I might do so tonight. Instead I sit musing in front of a computer screen, brazenly denying my need for self-preservation.

My personal possessions have grown to unconscionable proportions in the last month. I felt a sense of bemused acceptance as I surveyed the way my things had taken over an entire corner of the room like an untreated fungal infection. I fear heavy loads and feel motivated to leave as much as possible behind, but the painstaking process of deciding what that will be is not so simple.

My early attempts to pack were often a hellish procedure. Back then I had many more possessions and less packing skill, so the stress was intensified. I also managed to set impossible standards, procrastinating by making countless detailed lists and then frantically trying to do everything at the eleventh hour. I have unpleasant memories of turning into a witch and randomly abusing those unfortunate enough to share my airspace. Frustration with my own failed strategy - and fear of personal failure - was wrongly expressed as anger. It's all so simple now, but back then it was just an ugly and ignorant reaction to Stress.

Happily, age has cultivated a mellower me, and I've long since developed packing skills, even if I still procrastinate using them. Getting older is a great relief.

I've always thought that the key to a "happy" life is low expectations. It works for me anyway...the less I expect the happier I am to have whatever I get.

I wold love nothing more than to spend my Sunday musing. The last five weeks I have worked like a mad dog teaching English and translating documents, socializing in the evenings and running around non-stop, western style....indeed, I feel drained and physically run-down.

After 30 years of living one way, it will take real discipline to marry my two lifestyles...but for now I'm just looking forward to is getting healthy again in India!

bon, maintenant, c'est ridicule...je dois aller faire mes valises!

Au revoir, mon cher Montreal!
LMA

Time Change Got Me Funky

I'm tired of perfect English. I correct sentences always. I very like Indian English. It's very better.

It's dark at 4:30 everyday. I feel funky about it. It's not my cup of chai.

I have a new idea on the horizon...it's called Le Chemin de Compostelle. I'll start walking in April, probably from Paris, with my mama. We are not sportive peoples, but we can walk if we have our tennies on. It's better than a fat farm (no, I'm not fat) because it has religious origins. I'm not religious, but I like people who are because they have lots of quirky ideas about stuff. Often they talk too much. I can relate to this.

Yesterday was a really funky day because I lost my hat (actually, Carl's hat, a cool Native American one), and my favorite lip gloss. Then I got my favorite scarf stuck in my bicycle and broke my favorite nail trying to get it out. And then it was dark at 4:30.

So you can see, it's not easy to be a teacher. Correcting homework takes time. Yesterday I explained the difference between "thought" and "taught" exactly four times.

Then I spent an hour in my favorite bookstore trying to decide if it was unreasonable to buy both the German and Russian language CD's. Carl helped me understand that it was unreasonable, so I think I will start with German.

And then it starts all over again. And again, and again, and again. Like a burning wheel in the sky, but not after 4:30.

Sunday I have a flight back east. Not that one, I mean Deutschland. I have eight hours to listen to my German CD's so my next posting can be in German. Did I mention how much I enjoy German chocolate cake? And that Germans don't know what this is?

Monday was the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin wall. Now there's just the facebook wall left. I'm gonna knock it down, just as soon as I find it.

Stay tuned for my next comprehensible (or is it comprehensive?) posting...

bisoux,
LMA

Je ne veux pas travailler

C’est clair que si quelqu’un a assez de résolution, c’est possible de trouver la passion dans leur cœur. Une fois cette passion est trouvée, le travail cesse d’exister. Je crois que j’avais trouvé cette passion.

Les langues sont, pour moi, éternellement fascinantes. À part l’aspect fonctionnel, les langues nous offrent la possibilité de découvrir une réalité étrangère, une réalité avec ses propres idées et concepts. Des concepts qui nous mettent au défi d’ouvrir l’esprit.

Pour apprendre une langue, il faut avoir le goût pour le défi. Ce n’est pas un truc pour les personnes qui manquent d’inspiration. Et voilà, il me manque beaucoup de choses, mais pas ça.

Malheureusement, je dois dire au revoir à mon cher Montréal très bientôt—dans une semaine—mais comme toujours, je serais de retour un jour…c’est juste une question de temps.

Merci à tout le monde qui m’a aidé et continue à m’aider le long de mon chemin de gitan,

avec de l’amour,

LMA

PS : Pour les francophones qui ont trop de temps, n'hésitez pas à corriger ma tentative d’avoir un sens en français!