The Search For Purpose in Cyberland

I do apologize for having undeniably neglected this blahg. Even though it was borne of the bowels of waste and pointlessness (IIE), I want it to serve a purpose.

Admittedly, I have difficulty giving this blahg a purpose, partly because I am hung up on who actually sees it. I know a couple of people in my head who are definitely reading this, but there are others…others who are impossible to know, forgotten acquaintances, electronic eyes or otherwise… I find this slightly unnerving. Indeed, I find the cable modem slightly unnerving so I unplug it whenever the computer is off.

But I think it can be generally assumed and accepted that an action that serves a purpose is better than a pointless action. And from the perspective of evolution, it seems to me that the best I can do is just share what I’ve learned from my grave, bubble-headed errors. That is, just in case any of my less experienced brethren have the occasion to stumble across my musings.

Say No To Sloth

The events of the last year have taught me that, while the ability to compromise is a critical tool for evolution, not all compromise is equal.

For example, some of the jobs I’ve accepted in life have been bad compromises (the IIE most recently and relevantly). Bad compromises are made when fear is the motivating factor. Fear can take a myriad of forms: desperation, anger, depression, self-pity, greed, sloth…. Working at this place made me respect myself less (I could have avoided the entire situation with a simple no thank you). Good compromises are compromises motivated by positivity (confidence, faith trust…etc.)

Of course, as limited human beings, we will always experience fear (though it is certain to lessen as we evolve). The key is to acknowledge it without making decisions to satisfy it.

Unamerican moral of the moment: If we don’t act on it, then fear will eventually shrivels up and die.


Carpe Diem!



LMA

Mulling over the prospects for another round in the USH

Thank god the tortured year of 2005 is now over. I see how it was necessary, but I feel quite relieved to see it go.

Not that the actual arrival of 2006 was any better, but at least there is the relief that the holiday season is officially over. On day three of this fine new calendar, I am emotionally and physically emptied, with a bad cold rolling in as I write this. That being said, I also seem to be emitting a bit of exuberant (or irrational) optimism. After all, there’s only one way to go from rock bottom, and that’s up. Can’t argue with the cold, hard facts.

The self-discovery process is excruciating at times, and yet there remains a sense that somehow, in some way, this is actually leading somewhere. In the meantime, thank you super-souls, for the gift of the gut.

And thanks to New York, for giving me the first opportunity to truly appreciate an American city. Great people, great food, great access. New York is a haven compared to Washington, DC.

And one more thank you to my friend Tan, who aptly remarked (no less than 27 times), that at least we’d always have Central Park.


“I’m just gonna call it ambitious and leave it all behind.” –LMA 12/31/2005