Diagnosis: Karmic Poisoning

Vince and I shared a hearty laugh last night as we acknowledged out loud what we have both suspected already; unbelievably (or maybe not so unbelievably), I managed to relocate us to the only city in the US that is qualitatively more miserable than the Los Angeles and San Diego flagships of Southern California. Ha! Ha! Ha! Isn’t that hilariously ironic? Choke.

A closer look at the "world renowned think tank" I’ve landed in reveals a dysfunctional hive of raw nerves; a quicksand where dulled souls check their personalities at the door. Along with my understanding of what this organization does comes the sense that some grand irony will slowly emerge from my association with it. Ahh mais c’est la vie..

Staffed by a handful of white men with profound egos and well funded by numerous powerful corporate interests (power = money = duh), this highly regarded “non-profit, non-partisan” academic operation churns out studies while jockeying for influence over decision-makers in congress and the administration. This sort of behavior, standard in our nation’s fine capital, was less a problem when I was less aware of it.

For now, I am certain only that I must extricate myself from its sphere of influence as soon as possible. That means a date with my good friend the cover letter this weekend. Oh yeah.

In other developments, it looks as though I may have found a new avenue of creative expression. In keeping with this year’s chosen life theme “Pain Is Gain,” I have sought the opportunity to work longer hours with no pay. I will be teaching a weekly ESL class to a group of about 8 substance abuse outpatients. For some of them, the class is required as part of their parole deals. For me, the class will remind me that there is purpose in my life. A classic win-win situation if I ever saw one. While I am a little nervous, the whole venture is proof that progress is being made, even though it is being wrenched out of me in the most painful way.

Finally, I must express my sincere appreciation for the outpouring of love and support I received from the underground 420 community here in DC. It warmed the dormant cockles of my heart.