The Dubious Life and Uncertain Times of a DC Peon



Made my first foray outside the beltway this past Saturday to Baltimore, Maryland. Home of, well I don’t know, the Domino sugar sign that is the size of a basketball court? Anyway, Baltimore was a nice town, and I suspect Vince and I both were wishing we lived there instead (everything looks like paradise compared to DC). Vince said Baltimore was the smellier stepsister to DC but I think he was smoking crack at the time. The only downside I saw was the relative lack of public transportation, but the friends we visited said they didn’t like the people, which I completely understand because the people in DC are just as ambivalent if not more…

Office Shenanigans 101: A Tale of Rage

As usual, I arrived at work this morning at 9:02 am ready for the fun to begin.

The phone rang so I picked it up. It was a high-level Korean finance official asking for Big K, so I let her know he was holding. Big K was skeptical that I had gotten the correct information so instead of taking the call, she scolded me in her thick Greek accent…"are you sure it’s him? I am certain you are wrong…" By the time she decided to answer the phone, Mr. Very Important was gone…

Big K was ready to explode, but as I had not actually done anything wrong, she had to find an alternate victim. She immediately called the reception desk lady and demanded to know why the call had been sent to me (answer: because that’s what the reception lady does). She shouted in a condescending manner for almost 10 minutes while we (office peons) pretended this was normal. Later on, a frazzled reception desk lady called me to find out what the dilly yo. I apologized and told her she was only the latest recipient of Big K’s rage…

So this is the stuff of (my) life, eh?

On the upside of things, I’m Taxman Wally’s newest devotee! Even though he charged me $200, he made it so I don’t owe anything (except $200)!! It feels so good to get screwed less than you thought you would be, doesn’t it? Thank you, Taxman Wally, for taking my money away from the gum’mint.

“Cause I’m the taxman, yeaaaaahhhhhhh the taaaaax maaaaaaannnnnnnnn”