A Moderately Civilized Weekend
I spent the weekend visiting a friend in Chandigarh, a master-planned city in the state of Punjab. Since the first time I stepped foot in India nearly seven years ago I have been accused of being a Punjabi girl, so in some strange sense I felt I was going home.
Chandigarh is a bit of a parallel universe; with no wandering cows, no mischievous monkeys and no unseemly piles of shit or garbage, the "richest city in the richest state of India" is distinguished with huge tree-lined streets, orderly roundabouts and large green parks.
I took the opportunity to go shopping for that quintessential western necessity: a pair of jeans. I walked into a modern clothing shop, stopped at the counter in the back and asked for women's jeans. The salesman asked me for my size and I responded with a blank look (I'm a "drawstrings and elastic bands" kind of girl here in the Kesh). He grabbed the measuring strip, placed it around my hips and cinched it closed as tight as it would go, announcing "28."
He turned around to survey the wall of folded jeans behind him, selected three or four pairs and, unfolding them on the table in front of me for my approval, declared "these are fresh, madam." They appeared a bit too stylish for my taste, with ornaments and tiny little leg openings, so I told him I wanted something bigger and stretchier. It was his turn to respond with a blank look. I decided to try another shop.
Shoppers in India don't actually participate in the selection process; the salespeople select the items and bring them to the customer for approval. Years ago I found this a maddening affront to my years of dedicated training in the art of shopping. Now I simply sit back, prepared to reject the stream of offensive suggestions (I will never be caught dead in pink) with a stern look and an exasperated sigh.
Just the fact that I have learned how to manage the Indians makes me wonder whether I've become too comfortable in this classist - caste-ist - society..
Tell Me Where Living Starts
I no longer bemoan the fact that I don't have strong ties to my home; Swamiji has made me understand that it is actually something of a spiritual blessing. But I continue to be stumped by the question of where I should go. I realize it's an irrelevant question, but my mind is obsessed.
For years I've dwelt on it. Last year I decided Montreal would be a good "place" to go. Then it was France. Then it was neither of those places. Again this year, the same question.. Like the elusive perfect pair of jeans, I continue to dream of and search for something that simply doesn't exist.
That's why I am so excited about my latest notion: to live on the ocean. I feel at home in the water and the water is everywhere, so why not make it my home? I made a few casual inquiries some months ago and promptly forgot about it. Then yesterday I was shocked when I received an actual offer in my email! Apparently, there is at least one sailboat out there interested in a long-term passenger who can teach English.
I'm not ready to take the plunge just yet (I was on a boat once for three days, seven years ago), but I'm quite captivated by the option. The moral of this story is loud and clear anyway: don't limit yourself with linear thinking. Open up your mind and dream bigger, because everything truly is possible. Believe me, if I can go live on a boat, anyone can!
Speaking of Dreams..
The latest one to materialize is a timeless hippie classic; in less than two weeks I'll be off to Germany to meet my hippie German friend in their VW bus, whereupon we'll be cruising around Switzerland, Holland and Denmark visiting and/or collecting other hippies for a magic bus adventure. Ha haa haah ah hah ah! (Is the phrase "hippie German" an oxymoron?)
Not only that, but for the first time ever I'm actually excited about my 6-hour layover in Bahrain, 'cause I've always wanted to go to the Middle East. And my neighbor Kirananda says it's a great airport!
Keep on dreaming, everyone. You never know what might be lurking around that next corner,
LMA
PS: I think the Indians tricked me into buying extremely tight jeans...can someone from the west please confirm whether this is the actual fashion? For some reason I can't remember if I wore tight jeans or not..
posted by Lola Bites Back | 08:03
5 Comments:
The young ones are wearing tight jeans, as they always have... I get 2 sizes large so I am comfortable...Obviously I am not young.
How one wears their jeans usually depends on gerth of rear quarters...no matter where they live...
Thank you thank you thank you! I was wondering if anyone was really "out there"...
About that girth thing...I have none to speak of around the rear quarters. It really confuses the whole issue.
But, yes...my jeans are way too trendy and now I'm regretting the whole thing.
As for the tight jeans, isn't that a problem given the modest culture? Aren't you inviting problems and accentuating your western-ness in a negative way? I thought women were supposed to hide their bodies. Why is the store selling such things in a holy city?
Another question I had was about the "caste system." Is this based upon your income or status or how? Also, where do you fit in in this scheme, and why?
Thank you for sharing your life with us. It is fascinating reading and it takes me away from my "hampster wheel" existence.
The caste system in it's true form is a recognition of one of the timeless and fundamental realities of life. We are all unique individuals with innumerable differences, yet we are all interconnected and equally important in the grand scheme of things.
There is great beauty in this. Each one of us has unique roles to play and contributions to make. One person may be a teacher, another a soldier, a politician, a factory worker, a spiritual renunciate, a cleaner, a business person. No one contribution is more or less important than another. The true caste system recognises this and gives people the honour and dignity they deserve. We all have a role to play and this role is supported, respected and valued.
Unfortunately, humans being as they are, the caste system has throughout time been abused and distorted into a thing of ugliness. Groups of people have used it to suppress and control other groups of people based solely on a claimed "birth rite". (There's nothing new here, we also have racism, sexism...). This is plain and simply wrong.
A quick word to anonymous on that "hamster wheel". We don't know each other, but I'd like to recognise the contribution that you are making, to your family and friends and society as a whole. Without such contributions from people like you, people like me couldn't pursue the sort of "alternative" lifestyles that we do. The food I eat, the clothes I wear, the transportation I use, the books I read, everything has been provided to me by the combined contributions of others.
So to you and all of the anonymous people out there, thankyou : )
And thankyou to Lola for this wonderful forum, you are clearly an amazing individual.
A
oops....I meant birthright, not birth rite.... : )
A
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