Bonjour tout le monde,

In spite of the overcast, steamy morning, I'm feeling grrrrrrrrreeeeat! know why? 'Cause even though today is shit, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel, I can't seem to shake the feeling that somehow things are going to get better. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not this decade, but SOMEDAY I will find my way out of this cage.

I have identified my current problem as one of AVOIDANCE, though I can't seem to identify what exactly I am avoiding. Maybe I should check with mum.

In the meantime, there are a host of pressing topics to discuss. Among the current list of possibilities, a year in Thailand teaching English and eating Thai food is sounding great...a semester in the Gulf Coast of Mexico (Veracruz) doing the same sounds worthwhile, too. Then perhaps a year or so wandering around India with my dear friend SAG. We figure a good $6,000 duckets will adequately fund the venture. In an effort to distract ourselves from our relatively unfulfilling lives, SAG has suggested that we each produce a list of ten things we want to accomplish before we die. I agreed it would be a worthy exercise, but so far have been procrastinating it (what am I avoiding?). As I still have six hours left in the work day, maybe today is the day...

My weekend was unremarkable. Worse, actually, it was more like a downward spiral. To start it all off, I took a nap on Saturday afternoon that produced a horrible nightmare that put me in a funk for the rest of the weekend. I dreamt that I was with my friends and family on the metro when it crashed. I managed to find a stairwell leading up to the street where I frantically wandered around looking or help. When I finally found a rescue worker and explained that there were people trapped below, he didn't believe me. He blew me off, saying something like "those people were already rescued by the Red Cross." As you might imagine, I was a bit upset about this and went back to my stairwell. When I get back, nobody I knew was there and in their place were a bunch of creepy guys telling me I should stay. I wanted to run, but they surrounded me and were insistent I should stay with them. Thoroughly CREEPED OUT, I finally managed to make a break for it. That's when I woke up. It was 9pm on Saturday and after that my weekend was shot.

signing out...

Hevy D